Tuesday, November 28, 2006

Get More Anxiety from CLC

Aldersgate Gazette Advertorial

Students of the immensely successful 40 Days of Anxiety program for church growth now have a host of new products to enhance the experience. The Christian Leadership Consortium, developer of the 40 Days series, unveiled a line of add-on products this week, including a desk calendar, personal care items, ties for men and scarves for women, and even a mood ring.

The mood ring, in particular, drew rave reviews from the retail executives gathered in Atlanta. The ring enables the wearer to assess his or her level of anxiety throughout the 40-day program. The user can record these levels--green for “devilishly calm” through red for “heavenly anxiety”--in the specially designed desk calendar. Once the ring has recorded the requisite number of “heavenly anxiety” readings, program participants can open up a bottle of 40 Days blood pressure medication.

Each of the 40 Days of Anxiety includes a slogan for the day, and the tie-in hair care products remind participants to repeat the slogans while in the shower. Each slogan becomes progressively more anxious as the days pass. For example, Day One’s thought is relatively simple, “What happened to all the kids in our Sunday School?” The slogan for Day 25 is much more intense: “If we don’t get more members now, we’ll be bankrupt in five years!”

The ties and scarves come in a variety of bold colors, and are suitable for worship, church councils, and denominational committee meetings. These feature the 40 Days logo, which is an image of dark storm clouds eclipsing the sun.

Each add-on product enhances the total 40 Days of Anxiety experience. The program, which models the ministry style of Jesus, helps participants to develop the sense of worry and fear that will drive them to decisive action and stronger commitment. Those who are not able to complete the program are necessarily broken in spirit and leave the church. This weeding out process is essential, because clearly, those people never cared enough in the first place.

You can purchase the full line of 40 Days of Anxiety products at any church supply house or your neighborhood Wal Mart store.

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